Boys & Bases

“Hi this is Tiff with 988, what has you reaching out?”

The question I asked each person I connected with over the last two years while working for Rocky Mountain Crisis Partners (RMCP). My place of work…but it’s always been more than just a paycheck. To finish out this chapter in my life I have to start at the beginning. Before starting at RMCP I worked in social services for four years and then became a SAHM. I loved spending time with my boys, maintaining our home, and planning fun outings together; but I was craving more for myself. I knew I wanted something I was passionate about, and mental health has always had my heart. At the time I had a 3-year-old and a 6-month-old and we were just coming out of the COVID fog. The workplace was different then. With remote options popping up everywhere I was hopeful to find a place that would allow me to work at home and still to be close for the boys. When I found RMCP I originally applied for the call-side and let them know I was more interested in text/chat; especially with having loud boys at home. I received a call a few days later…

“Congratulations we are offering you a full-time position with the Online Emotional Support (OES) Team.”

I was excited, nervous, and ready to start working again. Working full-time meant a change for me and the boys. During the week of my training, my MIL was gracious enough to come out and help with the boys. After the training was over, I joined the team and started taking my first interaction. Over the last two years, I have talked with people from all walks of life and trauma. Mental health and suicidal ideation are more common than you may think or believe. Yet at the same time, it’s different for everyone. I have chatted with those struggling with addiction, guilt, grief, sexual assault, domestic violence, child abuse, self-harm ideation, postpartum depression, life-long mental and physical health illness, and so much more. Emotions and experiences are talked about often and most reaching out have felt hopeless, like a burden, and most often…lonely. Not wanting to reach out to people in their life out of fear of their response, or how they might be treated. Having the crisis line as a safe place to share what they are going through and checking in on their safety is so incredibly important. I am grateful to have had this connection with anyone who reached out and shared such vulnerability with me. Even if it was only an hour in their day. They had a place to share without judgement or fear and I had the privilege of hearing their stories. 

This is not easy work by any means. There were days I felt burnt, exhausted, heartbroken, angry, worried, and even lost wondering if I was truly helping. In those moments I couldn’t have continued for the last two years if it was not for my OES Team. Some of the most amazing, compassionate, kind, and hopeful people you will ever meet. OES was more than just a place of work, it was a family, a support system, a place to be my authentic self, and where I was always welcomed on shift. When we got the news we were moving to Korea I couldn’t wait to share with them all. This place was a constant in my life during the chaos of the move. Unfortunately, a few months after we found out about Korea we also heard our agency lost their funding after over a decade of providing support to those in Colorado. This meant that I would no longer have a job come August. I was devastated and stressed. I couldn’t believe this was happening along with all the unknowns already around me. I worked many hours over the last few months to support my family and team before saying our final goodbyes this past Saturday. It is a weird place to be in leaving a job you didn’t choose to walk away from.

There are still so many unknowns moving forward for me. Finding work in Korea is not easy and most jobs I have applied for in the States wouldn’t continue the application process due to being overseas. This doesn’t feel fair and unfortunately, it is an issue many military spouses struggle with when moving overseas. I am hopeful that this will be a time for me to reflect on what I truly want as a career and focus on my passions. With one of those being motherhood, I decided to take a leap and start my postpartum doula training this month. This feels like the right place for my heart to flourish and I can’t wait to bring my experience in mental health along with me. Before I close out this journey of crisis work I wanted to share some of the wonderful things people have said after chatting with them. I hope it gives anyone reading this an open heart to reach out to the people in your life who might be struggling. Or, for those who are struggling themselves to know there is support all around them even though taking the first step is the hardest! 

It is such an honor to do this work and I hope one day to share all I have learned with anyone who might need the support. Please reach out, even when you feel alone you are never truly alone.